As a Christian, most people would assume that the first thing I do is PRAY, and in the past I would say that you are right... but lately I ashamedly admit that prayer has been the last thing on my mind. I have been living in a "poor-me world" of constant pity parties and pouting (those of you who know me well, know that I can do a fabulous pout.
But I feel that this is something that I have to change and change right away. It is time to once again turn over all of my burdens, fears, etc. to my dear Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
I need to get back to relying that "in all things, God does what is best for me". Like the little child in the picture above, I need to be comfortable enough and trust enough to lay my burdens at the foot of the cross. At the same time, I have to remind myself that even when I lay my burdens at the foot of the cross, that does not guarantee that my burdens will cease. Instead, I need to turn to the Word and see if God is trying to teach me something through my difficulties.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (The Message)
"Every part of scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another - showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us."
Could it get any clearer than that? I don't usually rely on "The Message" for guidance, but sometimes I am so dense that the NIV or NKJV just doesn't seem to make sense. I find this is especially true when I am wrapped up tightly like a fragile package in my emotions, and at any minute my "package" could be dropped and broken.
That brings up another issue that may be causing my insecurities... I don't make time to read my Bible daily. I have at least one copy of just about every Bible translation that there is (NIV, TNIV, KJV, NKJV, The Message, ESV, CEV, Holmen, NIRV and the list goes on) so it is not like I do not have access to the Word. I just do not make the time to read and study the Word.
I am making a solemn vow to all of my friends, that this is about to change... I will probably need all of the encouragement that you can give me, but I WILL change my ways (with the help of God, of course). Once September hits, it will be a lot easier, as there will be many opportunities to attend Bible Studies, so for now I will spend the next few weeks prepping myself for being able to delve into the Word more frequently. My goal is to be spending time in the Word, studying and meditating on it, daily by September 1st. All the studies say that it takes 21 days to establish a habit, but I only have 19 days to do this... so here it goes!
Here is my list of things to do:
- Get back into the habit of leaving my burdens at the foot of the Cross and to be willing to learn whatever lessons God has for me through my troubles.
Dear Lord, I am beginning to get a picture of what you are doing in my life through my troubles, burdens, depression and sadness. Instead of always asking you for relief or help to get out of my troubles, help me to be willing to be more like Jesus. Make me willing to do anything and everything that you ask of me. Help my heart to be willing to be used by you for your glory and your purposes during my troubles.
Lord, in order to fully trust you I need to know you better. I need to know your heart as always good, in all situations and always for my good. I desire to trust you even when I do not understand you or what you are doing in my life. Increase my faith that I might see more of your eternal perspective and less of the temporal pleasures that would steal me away.
Change my heart, Lord. Make my heart like the heart of Jesus. Amen
- Read and savour the Word every chance that I get... being tired, too busy, etc. will no longer be allowed as an excuse.
- Create a network of supportive people who will cheer me on (who does not like to have a personal cheerleader) when I am doing well, or some one to gently nudge me (or hit me over the head with a hammer if need be) when I am falling away from my goal.
- To not give up, even if times continue to be difficult!
Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace.
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